Love is never devoid without pain
by Lady Alyssia Lassaria
Summary: This is the sequel to Changed Fates which I haven't posted because I haven't finished the 1st chpt! It's LizDar, JanChar, LydWic... It's more of what if the Bennet's were rich and stuff like that. HIATUS and NEEDS BETA
1. Painful memories

**Love is never devoid without pain**

(A/N: This is the sequel to "Changed Fates" which is the Bennet sisters as children. I wrote "Changed Fates" and if I changed their childhood, I would have to change what happens when they're the age mentioned in Pride and Prejudice. You have to read "Changed Fates" before this. It's a must otherwise you won't understand the story so far.)

Chapter 1: Painful memories.

Elizabeth Benne smiled as she saw her youngest siblings, James and John, who were twins and 8 years old, 12 years her junior, playing at their family estate, Longbourne.

Suddenly, her exasperated stepmother, Lady Rachel Sophia Bennet nee Donaffrio, strode quickly out of one of the side doors.

"James Harold Bennet! John Henry Bennet! Come back inside at once!" Lady Rachel flared at the twins.

"Leave them be, mama! They are still young!" Eliza laughed gaily as the twin boys ran to the stables.

"They have Mr Rochford waiting for them! A student must wait for his teacher, not the other way around!" Lady Rachel sighed as she gazed at her second eldest stepdaughter.

Elizabeth and her four sisters, aged between 22 and 16, were all children of Mr James Bennet's first marriage to Mrs Lydia Bennet nee Gardiner, who had deceased when Eliza was 9 years old. Eliza and her sisters regarded Lady Rachel as their mother because of their memories with their birth mother weren't the greatest. The only other reason was that Lady Rachel accepted the sisters as they were, making them more open to the community and to each other. Whether it was headstrong Eliza or bookish Mary, she loved them for who the were.

"Mama! Lizzy! Papa has wonderful news!" Diana and Daniella, the youngest girls who were twins.

Diana Angela Bennet and Daniella Amanda Bennet were only two years older than James and John but 6 years younger than Lydia.

Eliza gazed at the twin girls with nothing more than a raised eyebrow.

"We do not know what the contents of the letter is, dear sister! Papa just said we should fetch you!" Diana smiled wide at her second eldest sister.

"Papa must have something important." Eliza decided finally as she looped her arm for her mother and looped her other arm for Daniella.

"I wonder what it could be?" Lady Rachel mused as she gazed at three of her daughters in turn.

"No idea, mama. You know papa hides his secrets well." Eliza beamed as the four ladies entered Longbourne.

They immediately walked to the sitting room where the other four girls, James and John were waiting.

"Do you have an idea what news your father has, girls?" Lady Rachel asked the rest of the eldest girls.

"No mama. All we noticed was him smiling." Lydia and Kitty replied as the continued sewing on beads on an elaborate dress they had made.

Lydia Bianca Bennet and Catherine (Kitty) Tina Bennet had been introduced into dressmaking and embroidery by Lady Rachel. They enjoyed their much praised skill and were the leading dressmakers of Merryton.

"What are you making now, Kitty and Lydia?" Elizabeth asked her sisters as she gazed at the black satin dress.

"A funeral dress for Lady Middleton. Her father passed away last week." Kitty replied simply. The girls also made dresses custom made for those who wanted the option, which were the rich.

"I heard about that from Lady Lucas the other week. She has been mourning quite heavily." Lady Rachel shook her head sadly.

Sophie, the housemaid, passed through but not without Elizabeth asking the reason for her father's unexplained elation.

"I have no idea, ma Cherie. He will explain in his own time. Have faith." Sophie smiled as she rushed to the kitchen to do her chores.

As Sophie had predicted, Mr Bennet or rather, Lord James Bennet of Fairfield, the main estate that Lady Rachel had inherited, burst out with a wide smile on his face.

"Come in all! Hello dear." Mr Bennet ushered his daughters, sons and his wife inside his study.

When they all came inside, they eagerly awaited the news which their father had called them inside for.

"Mr Bingley comes once more, girls! He has rented out Netherfield and is going to the ball Sir William Lucas has arranged." Mr Bennet announced in an excited voice.

There was a lot of chatter amongst the older girls, not so much the voices of the younger four were heard as they were much too young to attend such a function. They knew it too so they didn't dare to ask.

"Will his sisters be there, father?" Lydia asked after a while. She and her sisters were very close to the two Bingley sisters.

"There is no specific mention but one expects them to attend. After all, they are Charles' sisters, Louisa and Caroline are." Mr Bennet replied cheerfully.

Eliza was quiet. She had a question on her mind but she dare not place it on her lips. It was too personal for her to ask. Every time she thought about it, a mountain of memories flooded back, some very intimate and others dreadfully painful.

Out of the eleven people who lived in Longbourne, only Eliza herself and Lady Rachel knew the question that hadn't been uttered since Lady Anne Darcy's death four years prior.

The question? How and where was Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy?

Elizabeth stole away back to her room with pain clearly making its appearance on her face. She did not, however, notice Lady Rachel following her.

Eliza opened her dresser and found the picture at her 15th birthday, the most recent picture she had of him. She was smiling wide and he was behind her, grinning mischievously. Georgiana Alicia Darcy, his sister, was by his side, smiling in her childish way. Carmel Andrea Darcy, the youngest Darcy child, was on Eliza's lap, giggling.

She pressed the picture to her breast, anguish and pain clearly making their usual ascent.

Lady Rachel flew to her daughter and hugged her fiercely. She hated to see tears.

"Oh, my darling! How much more pain must you suffer for your love?" Lady Rachel lamented as she tried her best to soothe Eliza's aching heart.

Eliza said naught. She wished she knew. Oh, how she longed to be in his arms which were so warm and comforting!

Suddenly, Jane walked up to Eliza's room as she had noticed her dear sister gone. She saw inside; Lady Rachel fiercely hugging Eliza who was crying, photo in her hand.

Jane instinctively rushed to her sister and mother.

"What is the matter, Lizzy?" Jane asked, concern fixed on her features.

Lady Rachel turned to face Janes with a painful smile.

"Love has never been so cruel to one person, Jane. You have Mr Bingley to love you." Lady Rachel smiled painfully.

"But doesn't Lizzy have Mr Darcy to love her?" Jane asked with a frown.

At the very mention of his name, Eliza sobbed harder.

Jane knew, by that instant, that something was horribly wrong.

"This runs deeper than anyone thought to know. Fitzwilliam Daniel Darcy was, is and always will be Eliza's lover. When Eliza and I met him four years ago at Lady Anne Darcy's funeral, Georgiana and Carmel greeting us warmly. Sadly, William has to be reintroduced which devastated Lizzy as you could imagine. Georgiana later informed us of William's amnesia, caused by George Wickham's seduction of her and then, the cruel blow of Lady Anne's death. It was more than Eliza could handle. She and I came back the following day. She hadn't been the same since." Lady Rachel confessed with pain for her daughter all too evident.

Jane couldn't say anything. She was devastated as much as Lady Rachel that Eliza's existence was wiped clean from Mr Darcy's memories.

"And she had borne the pain for five long years. She and Georgiana still correspond. She still had the presents she received from Lady Anne since she was 9 years old. Oh, my poor sister!" Jane expressed her sorrow as she wrapped her arms around her pained sister.

"Papa nor the others must not know of this. This is a matter for the three of us to handle. I will not be the centre of all of people's sorrows." Elizabeth harshly instructed. She hated to be pitied by strangers.

Jane and Lady Rachel nodded. They were so devoted to their sister that they would rather die than reveal it.

"But you must go to the ball Sir William is holding. Kitty and Lydia have made the exact replica of your dress you wore to Netherfield eleven years ago!" Lady Rachel coaxed the teary Eliza.

"It would kill papa if I did not attend. Not to mention Kitty and Lydia." Eliza laughed through her tears.

That was one of the points that Lady Rachel really admired about Eliza. She could laugh through her tears and everyone would forget she was crying in the first place.

Eliza wiped away her tears, walked to her silver table which had a magnificent mirror and started brushing her hair with a smile.

"We can leave whenever you feel like it, Lizzy. I will talk to your papa about it. He will say yes, I am sure of it." Lady Rachel smiled as she kissed Eliza's cheek and walked downstairs to talk to Mr Bennet.

It took Eliza and Jane a good hour to prepare of the ball. It wasn't them that were the problem, however. It was Lydia and Kitty who fretted about finishing Lady Middleton's dress which they solved eventually.

They took one of the more extravagant coaches with Bessie and King, Eliza's two most favourite horses.

When they got there, they heard the announcement inside of their family.

"Introducing Lord James and Lady Rachel of Fairfield and their five daughters." A porter announced after opening the doors.

Mr and Lady Rachel smiled gracefully. Jane, Eliza, Mary, Kitty and Lydia smiled the same way. They knew how to behave in front of an audience with poise and grace.

None of the people assembled there sneered or made a snide remark. They had accepted that the five ladies, all aged between 22 to 16, were very eligible but the only problem was their highly observant mother who snapped at anyone who made any of the five upset or uncertain.

It made no difference, however, to the men that would always flock to the two eldest who were the most desirable out of the whole of Merryton. Mary was also desirable but the two youngest were out of their league. Lady Rachel made sure there was nothing going on with Kitty and Lydia which they had accepted ever since she became their mother 10 years ago.

Suddenly, the doors flew open to reveal two women and three men.

"Introducing Mr Bingley, Mr Darcy, Mr and Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley." The porter announced in his usual monotonous voice.

Sir William and Lady Lucas were the first ones to greet them with the Bennet's not far behind.

"Jane! Lizzy! Mary! Kitty! Lydia! How long has it been?" Caroline asked with a wide smile on her face.

"Too long, Caroline. How have you fared?" Jane asked with a smile equally radiant.

"Splendidly! London is the coldest place these times! You must come, Jane and Lizzy!" Louisa replied gaily. They had no trouble talking with the Bennet sisters as they were childhood friends and they were all of the same status.

"If you describe it as so, I will not!" Eliza laughed, forced on her part which Louisa and Caroline picked up but didn't comment.

"Come. We must talk privately." Jane smiled, watching Eliza force herself not to gaze at Mr Darcy.

The four women strode to a quiet corner in which Elizabeth instantly started crying.

"Oh dear! A great many thing have been happening, it seems." Louisa frowned slightly as she moved over to comfort her friend.

"I have had this problem for five years, Sally. It is nothing recent." Eliza waved it off. She hated to cry when her friends had just made their appearance.

Caroline now knew exactly what was Eliza's problem. She knew Eliza so well and vice versa.

"This is about William, isn't it?" Caroline asked with a soft gaze.

Eliza nodded sadly, tears in her eyes.

Both Caroline and Louisa sighed sadly. They knew of the painful problem which Eliza hardly spoke about.

"I know it is not his own fault but those memories fuse into my mind like it was just yesterday. His tender kisses, my extravagant birthdays and our secret touches." Eliza sighed sadly with a slow smile.

"It is all George's fault." Louisa shook her head slightly angrily.

No one spoke. It was partially true but they had no idea where George Saul Wickham was.

"We must get back to the party. Mama and Papa will have wondered where we have been." Jane smiled softly as she; Caroline and Louisa helped Elizabeth back up.

The four women re-entered the ball but they took care to avoid Mr Darcy as much they could. Mr Bingley knew Eliza's problem so helped as well.

"May I have this dance, Miss Eliza?" Mr Bingley asked with a smile.

"Certainly." Eliza smiled. She felt a strong brotherly attraction to Charles Bingley. Nothing more.

They danced, both with smiles on their faces and when they got back to the other three, they were both smiling wide.

"Thank you, Charles." Eliza whispered into Charles' ear.

"For a woman so lovely as you, Miss Eliza, it has been my honour." Mr Bingley smiled gallantly.

Mr Darcy, by now, had been very curious about the stunningly beautiful woman that all his friends had tried so hard to protect.

He strode over to them in order to make his acquaintance with the one woman which had captivated him with her bewitching smile.

"Caroline Bingley. I never knew you and Louisa had such a lovely young friend here in the country." Mr Darcy teased with a grin which startled everyone.

Caroline tried to hide Eliza but she shook her head.

"I don't think we have met, Mr Darcy. Caroline and Louisa have been talking so much about you." Elizabeth smiled softly, hiding away her anguish and pain of five years.

"I am Mr Fitzwilliam Daniel Darcy." Mr Darcy introduced himself as he kissed Eliza's hand gently.

"I am Miss Elizabeth Claire Bennet, the second daughter of Lord James and Lady Rachel Bennet of Fairfield. Now, if you will kindly excuse me, my mother is calling me." Eliza smiled as she swiftly walked away, leaving Mr Darcy to inhale her lavender scent.

Mr Darcy smiled but not before noticing the pearl necklace on Eliza's neck, Lady Anne's favourite necklace.

But before he got a chance to ask, Eliza and her family swept away into the night in their carriage.

"What are you looking at Darcy?" Charles asked with a gaze at his friend.

"She had my mother's favourite necklace on." Mr Darcy replied softly.

Back home at Longbourne, Elizabeth rushed to her room, slammed it shut and started sobbing into her bed, wishing for one day that her dreams would come true like it had five years ago.


	2. Remembering is the hardest thing

Disclaimer: This is not totally mine. ¾ is mine but the other ¼ is Jane Austen's. I have made this M 15+ for later chapters.

Chapter 2: Remembering is the hardest thing.

The next week was much the same for Eliza. She would zone out so often everyone was scared she would die at any second.

"How is Lizzy faring?" Mr Bennet asked his eldest daughters and wife at the breakfast table one morning.

Eliza did not dine at the table as she would toy around with her food in other people's company.

"She is not going to get any better here at Longbourne. Annalise, Lydia's sister in law informed me that she would be in Fairfield for a good month. Perhaps Jane and Lizzy might like to go?" Lady Rachel suggested. She wanted Lizzy to be happy like everyone else did.

"Yes, that is a wonderful suggestion, dear Rachel." Mr Bennet smiled at his wife's genius.

The others did not complain. They knew it was for the best that Eliza should be away with Jane at their family's luxury estate in Derbyshire.

"But what happens if Mr Darcy comes back to Pemberley?" Kitty asked with wide eyes. Pemberley, the grand estate Mr Darcy had inherited from his deceased parents and where he lived in with Georgiana and Camel, his two sisters.

"Georgiana and Camel have already informed us that their brother has a good many things to do here in Merryton before he can get back." Lady Rachel assured the worrying Kitty.

That brought the worrying away from Kitty's face and a smile replaced it. She knew Georgiana and Camel dare not lie.

"How are they?" Lydia asked with contained curiosity. She had learned to curb her horrible temper and her brashness a long time ago.

"They are well. They are trying their best to find Lady Anne's diary which she wrote so tenderly about Eliza all those years ago. It might help William remember all those times with Eliza." Lady Rachel smiled wide.

"I will go up and inform Lizzy about our plan." Jane offered before she rose from the table and walked to her sister's room.

The others were silent as Jane walked slowly up to Eliza's room.

"She needs a break from her past but her future has big plans for her." Mary whisper softly. She had a sixth sense that no one could quite explain. It was like Mary knew what was going to happen in the future at times.

Jane found Eliza staring out the window with an eerie look on her face.

"How are you, Lizzy?" Jane asked to the best of her abilities. She winced as she saw the pain etched on Eliza's face.

"Fine, thank you for asking Jane. Time will wallow on even though I am not ready for it." Eliza smiled painfully.

"Mama and Papa have arranged for us to go to Fairfield. It will do you a world of good, dear sister." Jane whispered as she enveloped her arms around her sister.

Eliza did not reply but she didn't have to. She felt a sense of relief that she was going away to a place where she could be herself again.

"Is Mama and Papa coming with us?" Eliza asked in a hoarse voice. She had been crying until no more tears came and made herself hoarse.

"No. They decided it will be a peaceful month of time for us to rewind." Jane smiled softly. She had always dreamed of going to Fairfield with just Lizzy but the circumstances weren't as she had imagined. Much more loving and peaceful was her hope.

"Then I must pack my bags. Tis the season of balls and merriment but in my heart, no such word exists." Eliza decided with a slight smile.

Jane helped Eliza pack and Eliza did the same to Jane. They were very close and no amount of lies would keep them apart or distance for that matter.

"I would rather die than face Mr Collins' admiring face once more!" Eliza and Jane laughed as they came down to the breakfast table.

"Myself included! He is a nonsensical kind of man. That man deserves only Lady Catherine's pleasure. He talks about her so much!" Lady Rachel laughed and as did the other Bennet's.

"He's such a haughty man, Mr Collins. One wonders how much of a man he is!" Daniella smiled.

The whole Bennet family wasn't on the best of terms with Mr William Collins, Mr Bennet's sister's son.

"It was said that he was heard in the throes of passion with a harlot!" Mary smiled wide as she laughed.

"A harlot? He's supposed to be a parishioner, isn't he?" Mr Bennet asked, hardly containing his glee.

"He is. Anne wrote to me. She heard the most peculiar scream and when she looked in Mr Collins' house, he was in the throes of passion with a maiden who had a curvaceous body!" Mary laughed hard.

"He has a harlot in his house?" Lady Rachel's face contorted in disgust.

"Apparently so. Men have to learn their arts somewhere, mama." Mary smiled slyly as she saw the blush on her father's face.

"Be that as it may, Miss Mary but your cousin is a parishioner. I didn't think he had a taste in women, let alone bed a harlot!" Lady Rachel scoffed as she rose with her husband.

"Believe me, mama. He has a very wild taste in women." Eliza replied with a curt voice. She had very bad experiences with Mr Collins trying to get her into bed with him.

Jane nodded in affirmative. Mr Collins tried his disgusting acts of perversion on her as well.

The five oldest sisters walked in the garden together before Jane and Eliza left for Derbyshire.

"He tried to bed us all! He is such a stupid, perverted man!" Lydia confessed with a shudder. She hated Mr Collins as much as the rest of her family.

"He nearly succeeded with me! He is so ugh!" Mary screwed her face in disgust.

All of the sisters winced at that.

"We must go. The carriage is here." Jane announced as she spotted the grand carriage which had the Donaffrio crest on it.

The sisters rushed back inside to make their farewells to Jane and Eliza.

"I hope you come back happy, Lizzy." Mr Bennet kissed Eliza fondly on the cheek.

"I will, papa and mama." Eliza smiled as she and Jane boarded the carriage headed for Fairfield.

As the carriage went down Merryton, Charles, Darcy, Louisa and Caroline watched.

"Who owns that carriage?" Darcy asked with slight confusion. He never knew any seriously rich people living in Merryton.

"That would be Lady Rachel Bennet nee Donaffrio's carriage. Her parents entailed the estates and the vast fortune to her in their will since she was an only child. She married Mr James Bennet of Longbourne and one of their sons will inherit Longbourne and the other one will inherit the vast estates of Fairfield." Caroline replied with a smile.

"Where is Fairfield?" Darcy asked once more.

"It is in Derbyshire I believe. It is said to be a grand place." Louisa replied as she and Caroline turned to see the latest dresses in Lydia and Kitty's shop.

Meanwhile, the sisters rode for a long time to finally arrive in Fairfield, the only estate to rival Pemberley, the Darcy's estate which wasn't far.

The sisters got off the carriage to be facing Mrs Harper, Fairfield's housekeeper.

"Miss Bennet! Miss Eliza! It has been too long!" Mrs Harper smiled wide as she hugged the girls.

"Alas, too long Mrs Harper. How are you?" Jane smiled as she and Eliza hugged warmly back. All the servants on the Fairfield estate were the best of friends with the large family of Bennet, especially the two eldest.

"I am fine, Miss Jane. I have heard from Lady Rachel that you are unwell at the heart, Miss Eliza." Mrs Harper turned her attentions to Eliza who was on the verge of crying.

"Yes and have been so for these past five years. We must get inside. Tis the season is very cold." Eliza replied with a sad smile.

"Yes, yes! That we must. I will get Harriet to make her famous soup!" Mrs Harper nodded as she ushered the girls inside.

The girls and Mrs Harper went inside and while they sipped on the soup, Eliza explained her pain to Mrs Harper who listened with an open ear.

"Oh my poor dear! And Mr Darcy too! He has been you lover for all of your childhood! Oh my! Mrs Reynolds has told me of his condition but this is shocking!" Mrs Harper lamented as she rubbed Eliza's back as she cried.

"He loved me more than eternity! I felt like I could die when he asked me who I was." Eliza sobbed hard like she had done for the past week.

Jane and Mrs Harper watched on as Elizabeth cried all her tears. They wanted to do something but they knew nothing could heal a broken heart but time.

"Do you want me to invite the Miss Darcy's?" Mrs Harper asked as she saw Eliza sniffle.

"That might be a good idea. They have been searching for Lady Anne Darcy's diary, have they not?" Jane asked with a faint smile.

"Aye, they have. They have not found it yet, however. Mrs Reynolds has some of the younger maids to help with their search but alas! You know how big Pemberley is, Miss Bennet. It will continue, however. I know they will spend years to find it!" Mrs Harper tried her best to assure the sniffling Eliza.

"Oh no. I don't expect them to do so! They are such dear friends for doing so!" Jane shook her head.

"They are. The young Miss Darcy's are so lovely. Georgiana is always gentle and caring and her sister, Carmel, is much the same. They are such sweet girls." Mrs Harper smiled warmly.

"But Carmel is much like William." Eliza noted softly, her voice hardly audible.

"Aye, she is. He dotes on them both and they adore him. There is not a day when he has been unfair to them." Mrs Harper smiled. She knew what kind of things she had to say to get Eliza happy again.

"Yet such rumours surround them, choke them. Has there been any rumours about us in recent times, Mrs Harper?" Eliza shook her head sadly as she wiped away her tears.

"We make sure there are no such thing in town. Besides, everyone knows how gentle and lovely the Bennet's are! If there were, many a people would rally!" Mrs Harper smiled wide. She and the staff at Fairfield were very loyal to the Bennet family and for good reason.

"And of the Darcy's?" Jane asked timidly.

"You cannot contain them. They say of the proud and haughty Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy and of his two equally proud sisters, Miss Georgiana and Miss Carmel! By my word and honour, I dare say the people are mad!" Mrs Harper was now the one shaking her head.

"People will go to great lengths to bring down a family such as the Darcy's with such befouling rumours. A rumour is like sickness and disease, spreading from person to person, getting more vicious as it passed through." Eliza sighed as she walked to the window and gazed outside at the clear sky.

"Are there any balls any of our dears neighbours have planned recently?" Jane asked. She longed for some company.

"The Dashwood's have arranged one that will happen next week, in fact! The other maids have gone to the shops to buy your dresses, Miss Bennet!" A maid, Anna, chipped in before Mrs Harper raised an eyebrow at her.

"And where have you heard such news, Anna?" Jane asked, motioning to Mrs Harper that Anna's news did not offend her.

"By the Dashwood maids, miss. Master Thomas Dashwood handed an invitation to me, inviting you! Here it is." Anna handed the invitation, still firmly sealed with the Dashwood seal.

Jane broke the seal as Elizabeth walked over to inspect it.

"And so they have. Tell the maids that as pleasing as they dressed might be, Lydia and Kitty will be sorely disappointed if we don't go in their dresses which they made last month for us." Eliza nodded to Anna who curtsied.

"I will tell them, miss." Anna quickly hurried out of the room.

"This does not surprise you, Miss Eliza?" Mrs Harper asked, watching the expressions on Eliza's face carefully.

"Hardly, Mrs Harper. David Dashwood must have urged his father to invite us once word got hold that we were arriving at Fairfield. David is very fond of me in ways I will never express to anyone save William." Eliza replied with a smile. She tended to be very frank in front of people she knew for years.

"Of course. Lady Rachel will be pleased to hear that." Mrs Harper swept a curtsy as she walked away.

After Mrs Harper left, Jane was left staring at her sister.

"It is my decision, Jane. I am left to pick up the pieces and rebuild myself in a way only I know and choose to do. David is a pleasant man but he will not cure my aching heart." Eliza saw the shocked expression on her sister's face.

"Then, what good will this ball do?" Jane understood slightly.

"It will dispel rumours I will die of a broken heart. On the outside, nothing will show but on the inside, it will be the death of me." Eliza lifted her head up higher. She would not let people see her pain.

Jane simply smiled. She knew what Eliza was about to do and in all truth, she thought of her sister as the most bravest person she knew. Hold your head up high in public but break down in private.

"We cannot make Georgiana and Carmel continue to search for Lady Anne's diary for all of eternity." Jane spoke suddenly.

Elizabeth turned around and her eyes blazed with subtle anger.

"It is not our decision to make. They have their own reasons in finding that diary! I would stop them if I could but that is not within my power or abilities!" Eliza replied sharply. She hated to speak to Jane in that tone but she had to do something before Jane started to argue with her and arguments were the last thing on Eliza's mind.

"Not even as a friend?" Jane adopted a much more calmer tone of voice.

"Not even. Even if I were their sister-in-law, I could do nothing. They want their brother back as much as I want my lover back." Eliza whispered softly.

Eliza sank onto the floor with a day dreaming look on her face.

"Georgiana is as old as Lydia and Carmel is as old as Diana and Daniella. Picture Lydia, Diana and Daniella in their situation. Do you think they would give up?" Eliza asked earnestly.

"No." Jane replied in a soft whisper.

After a while of painful silence, they decided to retire for the evening. Enough had been uttered for today and the past could continue tomorrow.


	3. Bittersweet memories

Disclaimer: This is not totally mine. ¾ is mine but the other ¼ is Jane Austen's. I do not own the characters of Austen's books. I have made this M 15+ for later chapters.

Chapter 3: Bittersweet memories

The next week, Jane and Elizabeth decided to take a carriage down to Pemberley to see Georgiana and Carmel.

"We must talk to them about the ball that is on in the morrow!" Jane smiled sweetly at breakfast.

"And we have not seen each other since two years previous! Mama would most certainly let us go." Eliza smiled equally sweetly.

"Heaven have mercy on my poor soul! Alright girls! You may go to Pemberley!" Mrs Harper gave up with a dramatic sigh. She always did.

Jane and Eliza quickly got off their seats and gave Mrs Harper a kiss on both cheeks.

"But heaven help me when you have an accident! Lord James and Lady Rachel will have a fit!" Mrs Harper scolded in jest. She knew the two girls would never do anything dangerous. They weren't wild in any way.

Jane and Eliza laughed at that.

"Harry, go with them." Mrs Harper ordered a servant who bowed low.

Jane and Eliza laughed and talking avidly during their carriage ride to Pemberley.

"Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth. We are here." Harry announced as he got off from his seat next to the driver.

Jane went out first, being the older of the two, and then Elizabeth.

The two sisters, even though they had been to Pemberley, gasped with awe.

Pemberley and Fairfield were much alike. Both were £30,000 and they were roughly the same size but Pemberley was much more on a grander scale and Fairfield was serene and gentle.

"I see you have not been swayed away from the majesty of Pemberley." Mrs. Reynolds smiled as she saw the two girls.

Jane and Eliza squealed with delight as they ran to hug Mrs. Reynolds.

"I has been so many long years since we have seen you last, Mrs. Reynolds!" Jane expressed her obvious delight in seeing Pemberley's housekeeper.

"And I you, Miss Jane Bennet! My, my! How Miss Elizabeth Bennet has grown since those years I caught her ravishing young Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy!" Mrs. Reynolds laughed with slight pain in her voice. She knew of them painful way Eliza and William were split from each other.

Jane spotted Carmel peeking out of one of the windows.

"I can see Carmel has seen us." Jane smiled softly as she, Eliza, Mrs. Reynolds and Harry walked inside.

All of a sudden, Jane and Eliza could not see as two flings of sparkling platinum blonde hair, one longer than the other, blocked their view.

"Georgiana! Carmel!" Eliza laughed as she hugged Georgiana and Jane hugged Carmel.

"We thought you would never come!" Carmel's brilliant sapphire blue eyes shone with evident delight as Georgiana's chestnut brown ones did the same.

"And here we are, to prove you two all wrong!" Jane smiled wide with a laugh.

"Come with us, dear Jane and Eliza! We have something to show you!" Georgiana smiled mysteriously.

Jane, Eliza, Carmel, Georgiana and Mrs. Reynolds walked quickly to the Darcy library.

They found the shelves were in a slight state of disarray but Mrs. Reynolds quickly explained.

"Miss Georgiana and Miss Carmel have been very true to their word. The maids do not mind cleaning up as they understand the urgency in finding Lady Anne's diary." Mrs. Reynolds explained with a smile towards a sheepish Georgiana and Carmel.

At long last, they ended up facing an elegant diary on the rosewood table at the far end of the library.

"Is this what I think it is?" Elizabeth asked in a small voice. She took a very good look at it and she dared to hope like she had never hoped before.

Georgiana and Carmel simply nodded. They felt exactly the same way when they found it. It was like a celebration for a future when they did.

Eliza slowly took the stunning diary in her hands and opened it equally slowly.

"It is so beautiful." Jane whispered. She knew the main focus was what the contents of the diary were but she couldn't help but be attracted to its beauty.

"Lady Anne herself made it on her wedding day. She knew it would last forever and its beauty must be kept that way." Mrs Reynolds explained once more.

Eliza, Jane, Georgiana and Carmel gasped. Lady Anne made this diary with her own two hands!

"Did our mother make anything else?" Carmel asked slowly.

"Yes. She made a great deal of things. She made some of her own dresses because she was fed up with all the horrid designs and the way it was so uncomfortable to wear." Mrs Reynolds nodded enthusiastically.

Eliza and Jane smiled. Lydia and Kitty thought that way when they first made their dresses. Now, it was a full time job for them.

"Well? What does it say?" Georgiana pressed on. She really wanted to hear the words of her mother coming from Eliza's mouth.

Eliza opened to the first entry.

_August 16th, 1762Hertfordshire_

_Hertfordshire is the quaintest little place I have seen in my life! Charles Bingley, William's friend, George Wickham, my sister Catherine, her daughter Anne, Charles' two sisters, Caroline and Louisa, Tobias and I have rented out a lovely place called Netherfield Park. Catherine had complained about the size but I soon put an end to that! _

_Tobias' friend from Cambridge, Mr James Bennet, came today. He introduced us to four of his five daughters. There was Jane, Elizabeth, Mary and Kitty. The youngest, Lydia, was at home._

_I have taken great liking towards Elizabeth, who she insists I call her Lizzy. She has already made friends with William! Oh, they get along handsomely! Anne has made firm friends with Mary and Catherine went so far as saying that she would pay for Mary's music lesson which she will share with Anne. _

_James' wife, Lydia, has died recently and he gave us news of her neglect for all of her daughters save the youngest, the one with her name. It was so painful to hear such a tale!_

_I have suggested Rachel to be James' wife. She longs to be married and James might be the perfect husband for her. He is in want of a loving wife and mother and she is want of a loving husband and children, if possible. _

_Tobias is insisting I go to bed._

_Lady Anne._

"Read some more." Carmel insisted.

Eliza flicked now to a much later date, the second last page of diary.

_October 26th, 1767Pemberley_

_Today was Lizzy's 16th birthday and it was wonderful and extravagant, just like her other birthdays!_

_Lizzy is growing up very fast and beautifully at that too, might I add. William and George can't seem to let their gaze wander off her!_

_I saw William and George quarrel and fight for which Lizzy loves more many times. Lizzy always see this and knows of this. She is not ignorant of them and when she sees, she breaks them up, icily glaring at the two of them that it is stupid to do such a boyish act. She has my heart and mind._

_I know and she has told me in secret, that she loves William with all her heart and she longs to be with him and why not? Catherine has no objections to the match. She finds Lizzy delightful and beautiful as I do. _

_Rachel and James have bought Lizzy a horse and a beautiful sapphire necklace. Rachel loves her family and she has brought a lot of change in the Bennet household. She has brought the family group a lot tighter and now James knows the various issues in a girls' life. Her daughters, Diana and Daniella who are both 6, which are the same age as Carmel, are a delight. Her sons, James and John, who are both 4, idolise William and Charles, not so much George which is understandable. _

_George has brought many a women to Pemberley and it has affected me more than Tobias' death earlier this year. He is like a second son to me but I do not know anymore._

_I saw William and Lizzy rush to the edge of the lake and into the woods. William had pushed Lizzy to a tree and was rubbing her secret place. Lizzy moaned before kissing William fiercely on the lips._

_I let them do such a thing even though it is morally wrong. Their love, god forbid if it to be lust, must be celebrated and hope that they will be together, always._

_Lady Anne._

After reading this bit, Eliza's flushed pink. She could remember that as clear as day but, even though she knew it was forbidden, it felt so wonderful and exhilarating.

"The past is nothing to be ashamed of, Miss Elizabeth." Mrs Reynolds assured a blushing Elizabeth. She had seen it as well but she had the same thoughts as Lady Anne.

Eliza turned to the last page and started reading.

_December 16th, 1767Pemberley_

_This is going to be my last page for this diary. I am sure of it. _

_God has come for me and I am not afraid. I will meet up with Tobias again and see Sir Luis, Catherine's wonderful husband, again._

_Carmel and Georgiana hope for me to get well and celebrate Christmas with them but I know it not to be happening this year._

_William has already accepted the fact I will die and he will inherit Pemberley and all the properties that we own._

_I have made an account for Lizzy with £40,000. I have written in a letter and I have enclosed a box with some of my jewellery. Carmel and Georgiana will have the rest of them._

_I have given my favourite necklace, the one Tobias gave me on the year I fell pregnant with William, to her. She will need it as I have in the past._

_I will keep this in a secret place and it will take some time to find it. _

_If Carmel or Georgiana find this, I love you with all my heart, my two beautiful daughters. I am sorry I couldn't live to see you be married or even William. Live life as you want to live and never let anyone pressure you into anything._

_To Lizzy. You are me in a much younger and avid form. Watching you grow up was like a second childhood for me. You are so lively and so happy about everything you do. _

_To William. Grow up to be the man you want to be, not the man your father was. He had his own faults and you have yours. Love everyone, especially Lizzy, and you will be perfectly happy._

_God bless everyone _

_Lady Anne._

No one spoke for a while. Georgiana, Carmel and Eliza were too concentrated that life had sucked for them after Lady Anne died.

"We have found this diary and have seen our lives flash right back at us. Oh how it pains to read it!" Eliza said softly, tears in her eyes threatening to spill.

Jane, Georgiana and Carmel rushed over to hug a teary Eliza. They knew not how she felt but they knew it was not a good feeling.

"I will never again nestle in William's strong, loving arms! Oh cruel fate! Take me now!" Eliza sank to the floor, tears spilling out an alarming rate.

"Have faith, dear sister! Fate cannot be always cruel to thy heart!" Jane whispered softly, doing her best to keep her sister in good spirits.

"Thine said heart has been broken many a time but no more can thy bear it!" Eliza screamed as she sobbed hysterically.

"No one can bear on their heart than need be. Oh how I pity and weep for you, my sister!" Jane lamented softly as she hugged Eliza, comforting the best way she could do so in her power.

This continued on for a good hour before Eliza calmed down enough to stand on her own two feet and talk without her voice wavering.

"We came here to tell you about the Dashwood's ball on tonight. We were wondering if you were attending." Jane asked as the four women sat in the sitting room close to the front of the estate.

"The Dashwood's are not very close friends of ours but Sir Thomas is a kind, considerate sort of man so he has invited us. Yes, we will be attending tonight." Georgiana replied with a slight smile. Carmel, even though she was no age to marry, was invited to countless parties on account of Georgiana who was nervous of company without her little sister.

"Rumours have flow for years in Derbyshire about your relationship with Mr Dashwood. They say you are engaged to him." Carmel's sapphire blue eyes shone with delight and some anxiousness.

At this, Eliza held her head up high.

"No rumours will be consequently true and that is so incredibly far from the truth! You know yourself, Carmel Darcy, that my true love can only be your beloved brother!" Eliza smiled wryly over her teacup of tea.

Smiles graced the faces of everyone in the household, including the maids and servants. They had hoped for months that those rumours were not true.

"It is now 2 in the evening. The party will commence at 7 at night. We must get prepared for it or otherwise we will be late!" Jane rose as she gazed at the handsome grandfather clock close to the grand piano.

The two Darcy sisters and the two Bennet sisters got ready and they arrive at the Dashwood party just in time, 7 at night on the dot.

Jane was wearing a lavish serene blue dress with a mellow yellow shawl. Eliza was wearing a light pink dress with a light purple shawl and her favourite necklace, the necklace Lady Anne gave her in her last post to her. Georgiana was wearing a lavender dress with an orange shawl and small drop pearl earrings. Carmel was wearing a pure white dress with a serene blue shawl to go with it.

Sir Thomas Dashwood spotted the party first and strode over to greet them personally; especially Eliza who he had noticed David, his eldest son, was utterly besotted with.

"Miss Bennet. Miss Elizabeth. Miss Darcy. Miss Carmel. It is an honour for you to be here." Sir Thomas smiled wide at the ladies.

"Thank you, Sir Thomas. This ball is rather grand, if I say so myself." Georgiana replied with a smile.

"I thank you, miss Darcy. Pray, where is your brother, Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy?" Sir Thomas asked, missing the obvious pained look on Eliza's face.

"He is in Hertfordshire with Mr Charles Bingley and his sister, sir." Jane replied. She knew that it would always pain Eliza when someone uttered the name of her one and only true love.

"On business, I expect. My son has been waiting eagerly for the day your grace Derbyshire once more, Miss Eliza." Sir Thomas turned his attention to Eliza. He, as well as every other father in the room with an unmarried son, hoped Miss Elizabeth Bennet would marry their sons. The Bennet's were very praised and honoured, especially for their fine brood of beautiful daughters.

"I have heard as much from the servants and the local gossip, sir." Eliza pulled a smile. She was the expert of fake expressions and it came in handy for tedious parties such as these.

Just then, Mr David Dashwood turned and saw Eliza' face. He was so obviously besotted with her and why wouldn't he be? She was belle of every ball she attended and that spoke for itself.

Mr Dashwood almost flew with joy towards the woman he, and countless number of men, hoped would he his and only his.

"Miss Elizabeth. Your beauty radiates the room a thousand times over." Mr Dashwood kissed Eliza's satin gloved hands.

"Mr Dashwood. Your words are too kind for me to hear." Eliza laughed. She felt no real joy when she did so, however. It had been so for five long years.

"Will you dance with me, Miss Elizabeth?" Mr Dashwood almost pleaded. It was a great honour to dance with her. She only danced once and only once at every ball she attended but no one held it against her save all the envious women.

Eliza held out her hand to be taken. She knew it was no use to refuse such a besotted man as Mr David Dashwood.

They danced in the centre and Mr Dashwood glowed happily as every other man, married or nigh, glowered at him as they danced.

"You are so beautiful in this light, Miss Elizabeth." Mr Dashwood commented.

Eliza didn't reply. She did want to and she had heard that many times no one expected her to, in all honesty.

"How Miss Darcy looks tonight, do yo not think she is a beauty, Mr Dashwood?" Eliza asked softly as she saw Georgiana smile softly at her.

Mr Dashwood did not look. He hated the whole of the Darcy family, simply because of the fact that Eliza had an intimate past with Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy.

"She does not look beautiful in any light. She only radiates pride and selfishness." Mr Dashwood replied, his voice clearly conveying his disdain for the Darcy family.

Eliza pulled away from Mr Dashwood's strong, overwhelming grip.

"May I remind you, dear sir, that the Darcy family is particularly close to my own. Nothing will harm them when you throw childish words of disdain at them." Eliza replied, her piercing dark brown eyes shot at his own sea blue ones.

Eliza turned herself towards her sister and the Darcy sisters.

"It is time to go, my dear friends and sister. I have been insulted before but one cannot stand insults for long. Goodbye Mr Dashwood. Heaven have mercy on me if I dare to see your face once more anywhere else, least of all my home, either Fairfield or Longbourn." Eliza spoke curtly before sweeping away into the night.


End file.
